Living with PN, do you find yourself retreating from life?
Hello!
That's right, I'm the fellow who asked that we revive the discussion "What have you done to improve balance?" Today, I've another question. (Like many of us PNers, I'm full of questions. 🙂 ) Have any of you found yourself retreating from outside activities? Retreating from friends? Turning down invitations to do things that in the past you would have jumped at the opportunity to do? I find myself doing more and more of this lately. I have large-fiber PN, so I've no pain but plenty of balance issues––and in recent weeks, my wobbliness seems to have gotten even worse. It breaks my heart to see friends less and less. I know I need to accept the challenge of going places and doing things, joining in with my friends, and––generally speaking––living a fuller life. But it's hard. Pride is the stumbling block, I know that. And I know that the answer is being honest with my friends: stop saying I can't go because I have some imaginary head cold, and instead say, "Look, Jim, I want to join you, but it's going to be dark at 7 p.m. and you've got a lot of uneven sidewalks out front. If you'd be willing to meet me out front and help me to your front door, then for sure I'll be there." That's just a hypothetical scenario, but it's that sort of upfront honesty with my friends ("…If you'd be willing to meet me out front and help me…") that I'm trying to develop. My issue is balance, but I'm sure those of you whose issue is pain have similar moments when you'd like to retreat and not say yes. I'd love to hear from PNers who have struggled with retreating and won. What were your techniques?
Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)
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@ray666
Hi Ray,
Thank you for sharing. I'm where you are. Trying to make the best of life when I'm being slowly stripped of so much because of this insidious disease. It's nice to hear that others are not giving up on little bits of joy, like seeing friends and making a point of reaching out to them to find ways to make social activities possible. So after your post I think I'll make it a point to at least write to some people I enjoy being with and know that they would like to hear from me. I've been hiding out pretty much all of 2025. I was hospitalized 5 times and aside from the exhausting experience, my PN has also gotten worse with added hand tremors and such which make me feel less than able to socialize. I need to give it a go though and see how I feel about getting out of my shell. Slowly. I'll try to keep up with everyone's posts. Be well.
Betti
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3 ReactionsI'll second what Ed says about these devices. Mell, my partner, who died last year, was the one who insisted I get one. At the time, she was facing what sounded like never-ending chemo sessions; in other words, hours when she'd be away from home and I'd be home alone. Well, now I really am home alone, and I wear my medi-alert wristwatch every day. Like Ed, I've only set it off two times, both times by accident. The first time, I knew Id set it off and was able to assure the ChatBot voice (who called in a split second!) that I was okay. The other time I'd set it off I didn't know I had and somehow hadn't heard the ChatBot voice asking if I was okay. A minute or two passed when my phone started to ring. My first thought? Another sales pitch! When it rang for the third time I thought I'd better answer. I'm glad I did! It was Denver EMT Services calling: a 'real"––and genuinely concerned person wanting to know if I needed help. I said no and apologized for their having to call. (I'm doubly glad I answered my phone. If I hadn't, the next event would have been the arrival of fireman, axes in hand, ready yo smash down my door. 🙂 ) I mentioned all this as a salute to these med-alert devices. They really work! ––Ray
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5 ReactionsGrief, John, I'm only now reading about your fall (after having replied moments ago to Barb and Ed). Your mishap is yet another testment to these medi-alert devices. They really work! I balked at wearing one, but now I'm glad I got over my balkiness. I haven't needed it in a real emergency (not yet), but I sure am glad I've got. The feeling of being "connected" is worth surrendering few ounces of stubborn male pride. I've have to accept, now that I'm 80, I'm living in the world of "you just never know." ––Best wishes, John. Careful in those kitchens (having fallen once in my kitchen). I'm beginning to think kitchens are our most dangerous rooms! ––Ray
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2 ReactionsHi, Betti (@vasilikisimpson)
Keping up with one's friends takes real work, especially when one has a condition that makes one more and more housebound. I never thought losing touch with friends would be true of me, but in the past few months I've become aware that it has. My primary doc, knowing that I'd lost my partner a few months back, suggested I talk to a grief counselor. At first I thought, Naw, I don't need that! But my doc was persuasive––and I'm glad she was. I'll be talking with a CBT counselor this coming Wednesday. In preparation, I've been making notes of my "issues." One issue I hope to discuss is "emergence," how to return to being a player in the game of life. I believe it is supremely important, taking into consideration the limitations of one's disability, to keep one's life chugging along as near to the way it once was for as long as possible.
My very best wishes to you, Betti!
Ray (@ray666)
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4 Reactions@johnbishop John, the last fall I had about 18 months ago was similar to yours, I was in the kitchen, and my feet were facing one direction, and I was headed a different direction. Fell, hit side of my head, next day I vertigo which I never had before. Talk about a weird feeling! Got it to calm down, close eyes and lay down. Your episode was much worse and glad it wasn't more serious.
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3 Reactions@ray666
Hi Ray,
I think it's a wonderful idea to speak with a counselor. I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I have a therapist I speak with regularly and it helps. I do have a lot to say every time we meet. She helps with processing my grief over the complxities of this disease and of course my limitations. We work on accepting and rewarding one self for every little step forward. Good luck with the new step you're taking. I believe you'll benefit from it!
All the best,
Betti
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4 ReactionsThank you, Betti. I'm looking forward to talking with the counselor. I know from my two "situations" (long-standing large-fiber PN, resulting in predominaely balance issues; and a sepsis infection, contracted in 2024, which only compounded those balance issues) how easy it is to "give up," to let the world you once enjoyed to gradually fade away. Aging alone can do that. Folks around ere know I'm often quoting choreographer Twyla Tharp. As Tharp writes, unless we make a determined effort not to let ithappen, as we age we find ourselves living in fewer and fewer rooms. When you add a disease like PN on top of aging, the rooms we find ourselves living in can become even fewer. // I'll let you now how Wednesday's meeting goes. Cheers! ––Ray (@ray666)
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3 Reactions@oobc50 has anyone had the suggestion that electro stimulation using an implant could alleviate the pain from neuropathy?
@ray666 Hi, Ray. Just wanted to extend my condolences on the loss of your partner. Grief is a struggle even in the best of circumstances. But when you add in the disability of the PN and the balance issues, it DOES seem to create limits to our socializing with friends. I paint, and I take a class once a week with a teacher, and that is the extent of my socializing. I attend as much for the social interaction as for the instruction. The balance issues have not yet stopped me from getting out and about to run errands as needed. But most of my outings are for medical appointments, just like others here! I did start back at the gym this week. I only went twice and I only did 30 minutes on the exercise bike each time. But I know I need to approach it slowly. Eventually, I hope to attend some exercise classes like chair yoga and aerobics. They have aquacize classes every day, and I need to try those, too. I've heard good things from people who have attended them regularly. Like so many others, I need accountability to keep me going regularly. I hope the CBT counselor will be a help for you! Wishing you the best! Mike
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5 Reactions@ray666 I'm fortunate, I guess, not to have such an issue with balance. Though I'm still relearning my gait after having bilateral Achilles tendon ruptures at Christmas, '23. Thank you fluoroquinalone for destroying the tissue in both tendons. I had the first tendon rebuilt in June, and the other in December, '24. After months of therapy I had a knee replacement, more PT and gait & balance work.
I have small fiber pn, technically CIDP, so I'm the one with the pain from my toes to my knees.
To answer your original question, yes, it has affected my lifestyle. A couple of times a day I lie down in my bed to calm down the pain in my feet. I don't walk more steps in a day than necessary. If a store has an electric shopping cart, I use it and immediately become invisible to other shoppers. They walk right in front of me and hog the aisles. I have to yield to pedestrians. One of these days I'll work up the nerve and take the right of way and let them deal with it.
We don't get out of the house much, except for groceries and doctor appointments and church. No more hiking or backpacking 🥺. If I have to walk very far I use my cane. It also helps to use my walker, as it takes some of the pressure from my feet, but I only use that at home. I'm grateful for the ramp my neighbor built when my Achilles tendons ruptured. I still use it. When I have groceries to carry in, I use my garden cart up the ramp, through the house, to the kitchen. Stairs are not good if I'm carrying something.
I'm thankful that I don't have problems with balance like you and many others, but let me tell you, PN pain is hard, both physically and emotionally. I wish there were a cure.
Jim
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