It's all of the above. I have been sober for 12 days. I finally feel a sense of peace that I never experienced before. Sadly, I had to get a DUI and nearly lost my marriage. It took rock bottom for me to heal. AA meetings are a Godsend. Either go in person or virtually. I promise they help. But only if you're whole heartedly ready to make a change. No more lies, excuses, etc. Good luck.