Please go, you need a break, a chance to relax and decompress, time not to be “in charge”. My husband has vascular dementia and we caregivers are always on “alert”, monitoring nearby or from a distance. A break is wonderful.
Does your son live nearby or coming nearby to pick you up? Have him drive your hubby to the facility, he won’t give your son as near as much grief as he will give you.
My husband was angry when told by the hospital MD he needed to go to an assistive living for “now” to get stronger, get some PT, get his diabetes under control (he got into the “You’re not the boss of me” mode at home, landed in the hospital). Although fully ambulatory, I paid for a medical transit van to take him to the AL ,as I was afraid he wouldn’t get out of the car. Our kids are out-of-state.
The facility said not to come visit for some days, give him a chance to settle in. When I went, he had been welcomed into a group of guys, made friends with 2 other Navy vets (found them himself through them wearing Navy ball caps). He was teasing and laughing with the young staff. He was fine!!!!
I did get a wall calendar and marked out in red the day he entered and the days I’d be back to visit, left a pen so he could mark off the days. I also bought a 24”TV and a moveable stand and “simple” universal TV remote on Amazon, also Amazon has “calendar clocks for seniors”- it has the date, time, and “time of day”- morning/afternoon/evening. My husband sleeps at variable times, the clock really helps him stay oriented.
I would also highly recommend a facility with private rooms, with bathroom.
Once the plan is in place, go ahead of time without him and get the room set up, make the bed- I bought twin sheets and a comforter I thought my guy would like, the facilities provide them, but he might get flowers. Get the TV set up. I bought a smaller fridge at Walmart, stocked it with his favorite soda and water. Favorite snacks can go in the bedside table. If you can do it without him seeing you, pack his things for the vacation time, and some extras, mark tabs with his initials, set up the drawers and closets. Buy new toiletries he uses and set them up. Towels are provided, but his soap, shampoo, etc can be put in place.
On the day he needs to go in, your son or someone other than you can drive, stop at drive-through Dunkin for a coffee, off to the facility. He won’t be happy, but there won’t be a meltdown. My husband was famous for volcanic meltdowns, the presence of the other person, the welcoming staff, the familiar items and set-up, the extras, will smooth the way. Don’t stay very long, the staff will want to do “their thing”, it’s better for him to get into the flow.
If this seems like a lot, it’s really not. Anything you buy can be put away for that day your hubby needs a higher level of care. It took 8 years of home caregiving for mine, but it may happen.
Good luck and GO, enjoy the time, best wishes always 😊