@141942
I can really sympathize with you. I faced that situation with my husband multiple times as various activities he enjoyed became too difficult or uncomfortable to him. Maybe the best example is Golf. Prior to the symptoms, he LOVED playing golf. As the Alzheimer's symptoms developed, I noticed that playing started to become increasingly frustrating. The preparations for play were taxing, his skill level started to decline causing shame, the equipment was hard to manage, etc. But it was such a part of his Identity, that he refused to do the "logical" thing: Stop doing something that you no longer find enjoyable.

We tried a simplified activity: Hitting balls at the golf range. That was ok but short lived.

Over time I gently just keep reflecting to him that he did not seem to be getting the satisfaction he used to get from it. I also started to encourage him to do other sports. That combination is what worked. He started bicycling again and really enjoyed it. He started to go swimming with me and that became something that he really loved.

We have gone through this pattern several times as his capabilities have changed. In each case we:
1. Modify the activity to accommodate his capabilities,
2. Make the social part of the activity the focus
3. Start looking for a substitute activity to move into as it becomes clear that the current activity will not be possible much longer.

Golf took a long time to drop. In the case of a singing group, I noticed that he was starting to feel a bit anxious about going to the weekly practice. One week, I said "Let's not go today, I don't think you are feeling it. You can go back next week." Breaking the pattern of regular attendance worked. I think he went back once or twice but then was glad to take any reason of not going. Very soon, NOT going became normal.

In terms of communication about this, I never pointed out the transitions. We focused on the positives about the new activity (or new supported version of the activity). The idea was to make the transitions out of each activity seamless and not generate any regret, or shame about not being able to do the original activity any more.

I hope that your wife is able to find new, more suitable activities. Of course if one or more involve exercise that would be great. I think that exercise has made a huge positive impact on my husband's Alzheimer's experience. Best wishes

@141942, such a good question and I love the helpful reply from @memoriestomoments.

@141942, is it the anticipation of going to the activity that she dreads, but enjoys it once she's there? Or does she both dread going and no longer enjoys the activity?