@woojr There is a difference between putting the right pills in the right containers and remembering to take them at the correct time. There is also a fine line we walk when the kids or grandkids need to become the caregivers. It is hard to know when to take action with an independent adult - you want to respect dignity and autonomy, but is there a limit?

We had the med issue with our Mom, and it got serious quickly as she was also on coumadin to prevent further blood clots. She also had some impairment in understanding the passage of times after a stroke. Suddenly, after years of stable BP and INR, her readings were all over the place, she fell...Long story short, we began to find pills around her apartment, in sweater pockets, rolled under furniture.

Mom was only in her mid-eighties, and still pretty active in her apartment community. Although she fought it, we took over preparation of her meds, and whoever stopped by to visit checked to be sure meds were taken. When that still didn't work we paid for med supervision by the on-site nursing staff. (This was a continuum of care building and she was still independent at that point - except meds.) If it happened today, I would get one of the pill dispensers that sound an alarm and open each door at the correct time.

We had the same struggle with LifeAlert, until she took hers off one time, it was out of reach after a fall, and it was over 12 hours before my brother found her. She was so badly frightened that we never had to argue again. Hers was a discrete bracelet.

Back to when is it time to insist, if ever?
It seems you already know your Mom's mindset, that she wants to stay in her home and die there peacefully instead of being uprooted at this time in her life.

If there is no hope of changing her mind, then you just resign yourselves to being caregivers and being on call 24/7 for the rest of her days. And you and your wife and any others need to have a plan on how to do this, and what will happen if one of you no longer can. But you can insist on some conditions.

Driving might be a big one, especially if falls and dizziness become more frequent. An independent driving assessment is the right way to do it. They are also trained to determine if she can get some extra training to make it safe for her to drive yet.

If you believe her mind might be changeable, one or two of you need to compile a list of incidents that have happened over a short time - a month or two? Then sit down with Mom and express your concern - maybe over coffee and her favorite dessert.

Then ask the HARD question - "Do you want to take steps that will let you live longer safely, or do you just want to stay in your home and keep doing what you are now?" Point out that if she chooses to "take steps" they will be in her own time and with her input.

If she chooses not to make changes, and has a bad fall, her doctor and hospital will be forced to refer her for protective services if in their opinion she is not safe at home. Then she will be at the mercy of the system, and you as her family will have to scramble on short notice to find a place for her.

Also be honest about what you and your wife and any other family members can do now and into the future to help her.

I have friends who have just gone through this, or still are, with parents who are in their 90's or over 100. There is no easy way! My sister and I were in your shoes for over 5 years after my Mom's first stroke. There is nothing easy about it, but it is the greatest gift you can give your Mom and yourself IF you can do it.
Bless you for all the thought you are putting into this!