I have been dealing with chronic pain since my mid twenties. I am in my mid 70s now. My husband is dead and my kids are grown and I have to say that it's easier now. When I was surrounded by loved ones, I often felt like a burden or a dead weight. There were so many things to do-that I needed to do and wanted to do. Chronic illness saps energy of the one who is suffering and those around them. The last thing I wanted to do was wake my husband who needed to go to work because I was having a bad night. Misery doesn't love company. My kids are very responsive when I tell them I'm sick so this worked for me.
Now that I only have me to worry about,I can pace, stretch,slam things,curl up in a ball,whatever I want to do. Watching shows that make me laugh helps. Total silence helps others times. I try to stay involved socially even though at times, I find myself limited to face book. My point is , we need others but the pain is ours to endure and no one can fix it. Arelationship can collapse under too much pressure.