@karinweiss
Good afternoon Karinweiss,
I appreciate your candidness in your writing; being honest with oneself and being introspective regarding who you really think you are can be a new and positive begining in your life. Everyone ages naturally and true, we can realize that some of our capabilities are diminishing but there are so many more aspect to we human beings then we think. I too enjoy being alone but unlike when I was younger and dreamed about a life alone in the wilds of different countries and locations, once I experienced those conditions, I could not possibly thrive without others; including pets.
Throughout the eighties I was involved in several different adventures throughout South America and those experiences helped repair my then broken self. I am 80 now and have a wonderful life with my Gal whom I met in 1990. I could never live my life alone again. We are a tribal people: I am Italian, French and Native American. I faced life and death situations, cancer, waring activities, other illness and life threatening medical procedures, a triple by-pass and so on. I would have given up at the end of my 80's adventures but when I met my Gal, i realized that sharing ones life with others, fulfills our completness. We ride our three wheeled recuments about 100 miles per week, stay in fairly good shape. Yes were slower, I am in pain fairly frequently, refused meds like you, good choice, but we just keep going. We stay involved within our community. I have a permanent colostomy, walk with two canes anyplace I choose to go, yet I am not through yet.
Please don't feel alone, don't resort to just being with you. You, all of us are so much more dynamic than we think we are, we just have to keep putting our selves out there. Take a walk in nature, sit by a stream or a fireplace. smile at folks as you pass bye, and help others when you can. By giving of ourselves to others, either in service or simple conversations, or simply saying hi to a stranger is so beneficial for everyone including you.
Pick a day to do something with someone else, even a stranger: go to your market and strike up a conversation with a stranger and engage everyone you pass along the way. A smile really helps. Just try something, as my gal puts, who is celebrating her 15th year of sobriety, "move a muscle, change a mood."
Write back and let me know how your doing. Please!
Sincerely, Jofree

@karinweiss I so agree with you, Karin. I worked good jobs all my life, and took my precious dusabled brother to San Diego with me for 13 yrs, was his Caregiver but daily monitored his nursing home messes (i took him with me since our sweet Mom was losing memory & he couldn't continue;( ; our sister took over both of them. However, she & brother did nit get along!). Altho i had a Strong Power of Attorney, My 2 younger daughters took my Brother away when he complained & eventually placed him in a nursing home! He was not happy after awhile. I had everything set up for him with me! I went back to work part-time but moved him to another home closer to my employer (which my CEO recommended. They were awful! So I found a Last home for him there from where I relocated him back to Albuquerque After they let him fall Two times breaking his toes, then his Rt.leg, from which he never walked again!) I could be rich if I had sued several bad entities! Back home to NM, he was hospitalized monthly for 7 yrs., and he finally gave up! He is now in Heaven and I am Alone. Missing him big time! I fell twice while caring fir him and fractured my sacrum, from which I've not recovered, am using a cane & my sweet 'adopted' Sister bought me a walker. I am Type2 Diabetic, now suffer from leg & toe severe pain. Went to PT for 2+ months paying $160 per month with zinsursnce, mind you Dr's don't know how to handle our health issues..I rely on Mayo Clinic's advice Better and I doctor my own pains. I don't want amputation, so pretty much I watch my diet. Its not sugar, its that our arteries/veins collapse and the blood flow doesn't circulate to our feet & toes. I research! Now I'm using heat and my own nice massager which my precious Number One Daughter got me yrs ago. This wk my Dr referred me to Vascular and a Podiatrist But l'll see what they recommend (Not Surgery!), then I'll do my own thing, as I've learned! Such a long story here. God bless you and your own wisdom als🙏🥰