Accept where you are in life right now, if it is a nightmare accept the nightmare and stop combating it. Accept it and find ways to deal with it, make peace with the tornado. When you face down the monster it loses it's power over you. Focus on your bad thoughts until you puff up and scare them away. You can learn to only worry about your own behavior and let others worry about theirs. Life is messy and hard and wonderful and amazing, all in the same moments of the day. Love and accept it all, good and yucky,what other choice is there. Passing anyone on the street you can assume they are going through the same stuff. So smile at them and make eye contact. Help everyone through life but keep that oxygen mask on yourself first. Pretend you are joyful and before you know it YOU ARE!!

Have you considered writing a blog or a book about this because you are very good at this. So many people need to hear your voice.

Thanks. It is not our ability to give advice that counts, it is our ability to take it. Read Read Read. So many good books have helped me with all of these thoughts.

Yes I agree about the reading because it has helped tremendously. Thanks for the encouragement.

To help you rest tonight, maybe google a hypnotherapy session on YouTube. If another medicine is suggested be open to it. They are pretty harmless. I have only been on two different, six month each, times that I really needed help and got off way before they said to. So I understand wanting to get off meds, but when you do need them it is well worth not suffering so much. Remember that a panic attack can never kill you but boy it sure seems like it when it is happening!! Breathe eat and sleep, sounds so easy!! Good thoughts going your way!!

@lighthouseceliac Thank you for your many gentle thoughts and suggestions regarding withdrawing from anti-depressant meds. You make a good point when you say "So I understand wanting to get off meds, but when you do need them it is well worth not suffering so much." This is very true. Often when we have been under stress our brain-chemistry is changed by the stress and anti-depressants can help adjust that chemistry. I also appreciate your comment, "Remember that a panic attack can never kill you but boy it sure seems like it when it is happening!! Breathe eat and sleep, sounds so easy!! Teresa