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96 YO Mother fall questions

Aging Well | Last Active: Jan 23 9:12pm | Replies (45)

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Profile picture for Sue, Volunteer Mentor @sueinmn

@woojr Stepping in for a moment here - you talked about your Mom seeming better today, and appearing to follow your discussion.

When we were dealing with cognitive impairment with my father-in-law, the most helpful thing we found was concise written explanations that he could read over and over. For example, he had a colostomy, and every time red appeared in the bag he thought he was bleeding to death. His doctor provided a one page explanation of what things might cause changes in his stool - tomatoes, beets, etc. Reading that gave him great comfort, whereas telling him the same thing was met with disbelief.

With my Mom, passage of time became an issue after a stroke. We had to arrange her meds around meal times vs clock times. The same with her nebulizer. So instead of "AM pills at 9" it was "AM pills right after breakfast, followed by your nebulizer, then drink water." We also had to change the size of her water cup because she was determined to drink 3 covered cups per day, but each one was 24oz - and she was washing out her meds as well. We switched to a new 16 oz covered cup - problem solved.

What we learned was that every solution worked "for now" then we had to adjust again. The palliative care doctor introduced us to the term "slippery slope" and the need for constant flexibility. I feel, sadly, that you may be at the top of the slippery slope with your Mom - please know that many of us have been there and it is hard. Hugs!

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Replies to "@woojr Stepping in for a moment here - you talked about your Mom seeming better today,..."

@sueinmn Agreed, we're at that peak of the slippery slope. Unfortunately mom processes a lot of paper. She had clerical-office positions for close to forty years of office work. She gets an average of ten pieces of mail a day. Most are from the same solicitations for money. Some she's been giving to for over a decade. Then there's health and religious publications which also come frequently. She has a system which has covered her kitchen table and other places with unopened mail. Then there's the financial, the credit cards billing, local taxes and other bills and donations to the church, fire, police and more. My point is we've left simple clear instructions for meds and more as late as last night. For instance we gave her one liter bottles with directions to drink water in small amounts over the day and evening avoiding flushing the meds. I'd be willing to bet the water drinking directions have been discarded in the clutter of the above mentioned mail.
We did locate several cans of full sodium diced tomatoes. Showed her the label with the 1000 mg of sodium in the whole can. Her reply was she didn't use those and didn't know who put them there. Yes, the slope is slippery and it's getting steeper as well. Her BP has been rising and we see what she buys and eats from a local Dollar General. She used to read the labels but they're like the example of your father in law's reaction to "red"
I'm also sensing her trusting me more and more. My wife is more knowledgeable than me on all these matters but Mom struggles with listening to her. Mom's never been wrong, know what I mean? Thank you Sue.