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My husband and I have multiple older female family members that had falls, and decisions had to be made for their care.
His aunt was moved to independent living, then assisted living. She did not enjoy her final years in those facilities.
His mom fell a few times at home alone, but had neighbors who watched for activity. She slept overnight on the floor after a fall one time, but insisted on staying in her home. Not too long after was diagnosed with lung cancer and passed away while in the hospital.
My mother fell 3 times and was sent to assisted living after rehab, otherwise healthy. She was very unhappy with the limited life there and passed away mainly from loss of interest in life.
Personally, I hope to live on my own until I fall, maybe break a hip, go to the hospital and pass away - potentially in my late 90s. Sure, I could live until over 100 based on family longevity. But I’d be satisfied with 5 less years if it meant being happy!
In my family, my sons are more likely to set up monitoring cameras to track my movements - and I'm fine with them in the larger rooms in the house. If they don’t see me come out of the bedroom all day, or in the kitchen, they’ll know to send someone over to check. If I lay on the floor for some hours, I'm okay with that. We probably all need to decide in advance what we would choose in these situations and let family know.
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@triciaot Again, WOW. I'm so glad I posted this message. Every reply has so much great information. My memory is triggered back to the mid 1990's when my father had a massive heart attack and stroke at 69 YO. He was the picture of health who lived a year and half after the attack. My mother, 67 at the time took care of him. We were busy raising teens and they came first.
Also, I need to check her advance directive to see what she said many years ago about this subject. I'm going to talk to her about it openly as I always do.
About your mother's journey, I've seen friend's parents and my mother in law take a similar path. My mother had a UTI in 2022 and almost died. She called me one evening and we went to see what she was trying to say. When I got there she said never mind, I'm okay. I didn't see any indication she was very ill. I told her "okay, tell me the whole story now". She said her back hurt from PT and blamed the practitioner. Then she said she's been vomiting. I picked her up, went to the ER where she was quickly diagnosed and admitted. If she hadn't called that night the doctor said she'd have died. After a week in the hospital, she went into rehab, then assisted living for six weeks and was in great shape when we brought her home. We've seen other older folks die after short stays in assisted living but also some hung on for years with alzheimers or post strokes.
As far as cameras? I'd have to hide it.
As for me, I have an advanced directive but need to review it. I don't think I'll last very long by myself.
Maybe if we're lucky we'll have personal humanoids soon to help us stay up and in our own houses.