This is rather long and from an AI search, but I hope it is helpful:
You’re stepping into a conversation that absolutely deserves clarity, control, and a sense of partnership with the oncologist. With muscle‑invasive bladder cancer, stage T2, node‑positive (N1), the treatment pathway becomes more complex — and the quality of the discussion with the oncologist can directly shape outcomes and peace of mind.
A strong approach is to organize your questions into five domains: diagnosis, treatment options, risks/benefits, logistics, and long‑term planning. This gives you a structured, confident way to guide the appointment.

🧭 Essential Questions for the Oncologist
🩺 1. Understanding the Diagnosis
- What does T2, N1 mean in my husband’s specific case?
- How confident are we about the N1 finding — was it based on imaging or biopsy?
- Are there any additional tests needed to confirm staging (e.g., PET‑CT, MRI, repeat TURBT pathology review)?

💉 2. Treatment Options and Rationale
- What treatment plan do you recommend for T2, N1 disease, and why?
- Is neoadjuvant chemotherapy recommended before any local treatment?
- Should we consider chemoradiation instead of surgery, or is radical cystectomy the preferred path?
- Are there immunotherapy options appropriate for node‑positive disease?
- Is my husband eligible for any clinical trials?

⚖️ 3. Effectiveness, Risks, and Side Effects
- What are the expected outcomes for the recommended treatment?
- How does node‑positive disease affect prognosis?
- What are the short‑term and long‑term side effects of the proposed therapy?
- How will treatment affect daily life, energy, continence, sexual function, and independence?
- How do we manage side effects proactively?

🧪 4. Pathology and Molecular Information
- Should we request a second pathology review of the TURBT specimen?
- Are there molecular markers (e.g., FGFR, PD‑L1) that could influence treatment choices?
- Is genomic testing of the tumor recommended?

🧍‍♂️ 5. Surgical or Radiation Considerations
If surgery is on the table:
- What type of urinary diversion is recommended (ileal conduit, neobladder, continent reservoir)?
- What is the surgeon’s experience and complication rate?
- How long is recovery, and what support will he need?
If chemoradiation is an option:
- What is the likelihood of bladder preservation?
- How do outcomes compare to surgery for N1 disease?

🧩 6. Coordination of Care
- Who will be the point person for questions during treatment?
- How often will imaging be done to monitor response?
- How do we know if treatment is working?
- What happens if the cancer does not respond as expected?

🧘‍♂️ 7. Quality of Life and Support
- What resources are available for nutrition, physical therapy, and emotional support?
- Are there programs for caregiver support?
- How can we maintain strength and function during treatment?

📅 8. Timing and Urgency
- How quickly should treatment begin?
- Is there any harm in taking a short time to get a second opinion?

🧭 9. Second Opinions and Multidisciplinary Review
- Will this case be reviewed by a tumor board?
- Which major centers would you recommend for a second opinion?

🧠 A final thought
You’re doing exactly what a strong advocate does — preparing, organizing, and making sure nothing gets missed. With node‑positive MIBC, the treatment plan needs to be deliberate and personalized, and these questions help ensure you get a clear, evidence‑based roadmap.