When your family is mad at you

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Rosemary

I finally decided what to do about my sister, the last few days my blood pressure has gone up to 175 to192 /over 164 so I sit down and wrote her a 3 page letter, telling her how I feel and saying goodby to her

I wrote a 3 page letter to my sister telling her that I loved her but couldn't deal with her I haven't heard anything back but I said goodby to her and hope that she is finally happy to have gotten rid of me. I think down deep she hates me but have no idea why.

@misdeejon42, Now that you have acted on your decision, How are you feeling? You had mentioned that your blood pressure had gone up and I am guessing that that is your body's way of reacting to the stress of all of this.

I have learned that unanswered questions, like "Why" are very difficult. I am the kind of person who likes to have an answer, a reason. But fortunately or unfortunately, often there is no answer or reason that makes sense. For me, that is where the strength of my particular faith background takes over.

I sincerely hope that you continue to develop and enjoy your friendships outside the family. And I hope that your health issues that you have mentioned are getting under control.

Hugs,
Rosemary

I'm trying to get my pressure down, every day its a little better, I hated doing it that way but she didn't leave me any choice, I have to consider my health, thank you for getting back to me. dottie

hi its me the one with a mean sister, the other day I called to see if she would listen to me, she is 5 yrs older then me, she said I have no sister and no family anymore, I did't do what she is saying I did, I thought that she new me better then that, I would go take a lie det, test to prove it, but where do you go for that? I love my sister and she is my family, I have 3 neices and a brother in law but everyone does what she says, they are afraid of her and what she will do. I wish she would just listen to me , and see how wrong she is

@misdeejon42, I can see that your emotional burden continues, and I am sorry to hear that you continue to endure this pain. As an 'outsider' I am going to guess that your sis is not wanting to change. And I have no words to offer, but I will put both you and your sister in my prayers for both of your needs.
How are you doing with your own medical issues? Are you beginning to feel physical improvement?
I'm sending you a hug, I hope it provides some comfort.
Rosemary

@misdeejon42 - "Loving" your sister, and "Liking" her are two different things. Do the math...You are 75, and your five years older sister is 75 + 5 = 80. It is not likely that "Sister Dearest" will be changing after 80-years.

I am vintage 1941, and you are a year behind me. Recognize that the sand in the hourglass is running out for you. Your sister likely will not become the loving, supportive sister you want her to be, only the sister she is, and likely will remain. So quit giving her access to your emotions with your hope that she will miraculously become a “Nice Sister.” It will not likely be happening.

Expand your support system beyond just your family, who seem to be giving you little to no emotional nurturing or support. If you are a churchgoer, seek out and join one of the various social and support groups most churches have available. On a secular-basis, there may be a Senior Center where you live, go there and get involved.

Love your unlikeable family and extended family, send them Christmas, Birthday, Graduation, Wedding, et al cards, keep in touch, but recognize that that “Family Well” is a dry hole. You take the personal actions necessary to make a concerted personal effort to develop and grow a “New Family Of Friends & Acquaintances.” People who do not bring unhappiness and deliver meanness and emotional pain to you.

Good Luck. Make this 4th Of July @misdeejon42’s Declaration Of Independence Day… Put pain and maltreatment in your rearview mirror, and, thereby, have a great second half of 2017. ☺

Thank you for your wise words, I have done that, I know in my heart she will never change, as much as I want her to, She finally gave me back my painting and sd we are no longer family, it hurts but nothing I can do about it, she is missing me and my love for her, but thank you again.dottie

Hi I ust got out of the hospital, and mite have to go back, seeing the dr tomorrow, I have a bad infection in my tummy, and a lot of other problems, thank you for your kind words. dottie