When your family is mad at you

@misdeejon42, I am sorry to hear that you are in this hurtful relationship with your sister. I have read thru some of your concerns and I imagine that this is very painful for you to experience. It sounds like you are not going to change your sister, as this has been her pattern for years. I would encourage you to focus your immediate energy on the good relationship that you have established with friends and niece. But, also leave the door open for your sister whenever she decides to communicate with you.
Please know that I am thinking about you.
Sending you a hug,
Rosemary

thank you, I guess I've always have known she will never change, but I guessed that she would so we could have a sister relationship. so I guess I have to forget I have a sister, because I can't deal with the way she is thank you for your advise

@misdeejon42 Your comment reminds me of the Serenity Prayer that says, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." When your sister decides to change, then you can have a sisterly relationship once more. Best wishes! Teresa

@misdeejon42, You have been in my thoughts. In reflecting on your situation, I have realized that we have a 'sort of' similar situation in our family. One particular member has distances himself. Seldom calls or returns calls. Although there is no single event or reason that I know of, he just stays away from any family function unless absolutely necessary, like funeral or wedding. Just want you to know that you are not the only one out there.
Hugs,
Rosemary

maybe he is not doing well, money wise, and doesn't want the family to know how bad things are, maybe try to reach out just to know you are there

When I mention my family problems to friends it seems that all families have some type of difficulties. I wonder if we are not born into families with specific challenges so we can learn and grow from these challenges. I cannot change my sister and have had to withdraw somewhat emotionally to protect myself as it is just too difficult to maintain regular communications. My friends and I say that we choose our friends and should enjoy them and not stress about the difficult family members who we only tolerate. Of course in family emergencies I will always be there 100%, but have had to pull back otherwise..
Misdejon42, Enjoy your life with your friends and just let your sister live her life as she chooses!

Hi @misdeejon42, @sttpeggysue,

I came across this anonymous quote, while researching something else online: "I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry."

Your love for your sister and for that special relationship is definitely worth fighting for, but it can get very lonely if you're fighting alone. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself, and be strong for yourself.
All your sister needs to know is - and again, I'm quoting - "Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of; she knows whatever she does, you'll still be there."

thank you for the quote, I've made my mind up to do without my sister, its years of abuse by her its time to cut the cord as they say

@misdeejon42 Stay in touch. You are among friends here.
Rosemary

@rosemarya I don't mean to interrupt but how does one go about starting a subject on here? Is it from the main page?