← Return to Unable to assert myself at 73...I have Severe Osteoporosis

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Profile picture for Lori, Volunteer Mentor @loribmt

Hi @lane73 Just popping in to wish you well tomorrow! I know it’s a big day that you’ve been dreading. Today is a good day to take a couple moments every few hours to sit down on the sofa and lean on the back cushions. Close your eyes, open your mouth and try some mental exercises that you can use tomorrow to keep you calm and not gaggy.

I found a really great article this morning on Grounding from Clearwater Free Clinic. (I have no affiliation with this facility. Just read through their article and it contained everything I wanted to suggest! So I’m posting it here for you instead of typing out all the suggestions): https://www.clearwaterfreeclinic.org/healthhub/2025/6/19/5-grounding-techniques-you-can-use-anywhere

I use techniques like this all the time when facing activities out of my comfort zone…had many over the past several years. From our conversations I just know you’re a very sweet and lovely person. But that doesn’t mean you can’t also be assertive in expressing your opinion or expecting the dentist to be understanding of your discomfort.
So don’t apologize, just be direct with comments such as; >Bear with me please, I have a tendency to gag or I feel panicky sometimes.
>If I raise my hand (or give you a little signal) could you please pause a moment for me to catch my breath, or clear my throat.
> I value your time and expertise and don’t mean to be a pain but this will all go smoother if I know I’m able to give a signal for a brief time out to collect my wits. (That type of thing).
You don’t have to feel cowardly or any shame for your normal reactions. Hopefully your dentist isn’t a ‘bit of a pig’ as you say. (Still cracks me up). If he is, that’s on him. You’ve done nothing to warrant his behavior. It’s a shame if he is! I know you’re limited with whom you can see and he does sound very knowledgeable about your situation. So good luck tomorrow! Let me know how everything goes. Hugs!

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Replies to "Hi @lane73 Just popping in to wish you well tomorrow! I know it’s a big day..."

@loribmt hi Lori thanks for remembering....I was just explaining to my daughter that they give sedation for anxiety at least 750$ which would bring the extraction to over a thousand which I don't have..I would have uf i didn't share out 2 thousand over Xmas in gifts to kids and grandkids but I was also telling her I spent 10 minutes " gushing " about anxiety to this guy and when I was finished my rant he said could you just go downstairs and get cleaning done I felt like saying I'd rather jump out that window instead but I just said " I can't " and then went into a litany of excuses all lies of course....I am sure he thinks I am a basket case....but Lori I have decided to get my cleaning done with an Hygenist I went to before she was a lovely girl but I am afraid he will find out..🙈 you would think I was a serial killer how I go on....I have found the people on here really lovely Lori yourself especially i feel I can say what I honestly feel without embarrassment....needless to say Lori if I survive and don't kill the Dentist and all in my path I will fill you in as soon as I can regain my composure...I think I was too friendly with him he probably thinks at this stage I am a simpleton....🫣🙏🙏