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And the Academy Award goes to... Pretender
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Feb 7 8:10am | Replies (54)Comment receiving replies
@marketlink
Thank you for posting this because I was and am feeling alone and overwhelmed by his changes. I am sure as I go through this I will get better and better at handling him and my emotions, at least I hope so.
Today we watched Pres. Trump's press conference on Venezuela. The President happened to mention something about not being happy with Putin. H. turns to me and says; "Putin just said he isn't happy with Russia". At first I was confused about what he was talking about, but realized he was trying to say that Trump wasn't happy with Putin.
I have been having problems getting a diagnosis for him. The problem I mentioned about is becoming more and more frequent and sometimes I just don't have a clue about what he is talking about. Will this help in getting him diagnosed if I keep a record?
I know we all flub our words occasionally, but this is becoming more and more often with him. He may get the basic gest of something but can't keep the players straight.
Replies to "@marketlink Thank you for posting this because I was and am feeling alone and overwhelmed by..."
@kartwk
I am now in Stage 8, having lost my DH in July, 2025. I do remember trying to understand what he was talking about and wondering how to respond. I finally came to a point where I discovered explaining reality and trying to help him understand what was happening was useless, even more confusing for him. I had a standard reply ready at all times. "Go figure" "Unbelievable" "Wow" "I don't know " were just a few. Any response would do. If I tried correcting him he thought I was arguing with him. I missed the deep conversations we used to have but came to realize that was in the past.
I hope this helps. Every situation is different but I want you to know you're not alone.
@kartwk
I’m so sorry you are going through this too. It’s taken me 2 years to get a full diagnosis (vascular deterioration in the brain in areas affecting executive functioning). It’s still at the mild to moderate stage but my hubby has lost empathy and the ability to determine what someone else is feeling. He sometimes laughs when a family member gets sick or he gets angry when I express I am hurting. It’s hard not to take it personally.
The good thing about getting a diagnosis was it proved to me I wasn’t crazy and over reacting to everything. We started with a good neuro physiologist who diagnosed him with depression and then suggested a memory test. She diagnosed him with MCI. We then went on to see specialists at a Center for active aging and they recommended brain scans. This showed the vascular problem. I would definitely start keeping notes if you can. Like everyone else has said, it helps the doctors make a diagnosis and recommend proper testing. It can also help for you to look at your notes when you think you are imagining things.
It is a lonely journey but I try to reach out to friends and I have a Counsellor whose shoulder I can cry on. I have 2 wonderful adult daughters but they are busy parents and I hate to lean on them too much at this stage. Please reach out if you have more questions or just need to talk. Big hugs.
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@kartwk
Hello: the detailed notes I keep about my husband's behaviors really help the Neuro Doc with their comprehensive diagnosis (paired with three hours of cognitive testing, baseline in 2024 and again in '25). They only see you in their office for a short while and ask a lot of questions, so the info you provide (since you're with him 24/7 and know him better than anyone) proves invaluable.
The diagnosis won't change the outcome, however it will help with resources.
Caution though: once he has a diagnosis you may want the Doc to write a note for DMV that he can't drive anymore. You will be held liable if he drives, injures person/property and you knew of his diagnosis and still let him drive.
Keep checking in and we'll support each other. 🫂