Hi @grahmilou, I'll try to discuss the part: But grief at loss is also important and sometimes is just hard.

Grief at loss is in fact so important that articles in Psychology Today website says that Not-Grieving is actually bad for our health. Crying, yes shedding tears, over the loss of someone who you'd really loved day after day, year after year for many years is our body's innate way to process loss without it becoming toxic.

I HAD to dig up information from credible sources to understand my grieving that I was facing as a well-grown up man in eighties, especially when I was faced with unsolicited advice, 'Be Strong' translated as 'Don't Cry.' And yet it was a reaction almost unbidden, sudden and always consoling, if only, sometimes, for a few hours.
I ended up finding consistent advice to allow the body's way, its wisdom, to take reins, after all it has been with us for a LOT longer than our current messaging along 'men-don't-cry.' That may be true for certain times, but does NOT mean such men are not fearless enough to Step Up with their life when faced with a situation where either you or the one you love can only be alive.

Here's one such psychologist who I found helpful, for your comment's part "...and sometimes it's just hard."
For other matters you've raised I believe you have good suggestions from others. Loss is an inseparable part of the life-as-we-know.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/how-we-go-on/202510/how-men-deal-with-loss-and-what-they-need-most
Wishing you well my fellow traveler.