@grahmilou
Is it the process of death or the possibility of pain that you fear? If you are a Christian, I remind you that the Bible tells us over 100 times to "fear not" and if you know for certain that you are Heaven bound, there should be no fear of death. As for the grandchildren, give them to God and permit Him to comfort them at your passing and in the future. I know it's not easy to do - I've had to do everything I'm telling you. The rewards are wonderful! Just the peace that He will take care of everything, that He will not give us, as Christians, more than we can handle and that we can honestly say, "It is well with my soul".