@gingerw didnt know i was going to start a reaction like these but glad i have you all have given him direction. my case with end of days for my wife still haunt me and that was 15 years ago. suicide" in some policy's dont pan out, some religion beliefs are the same, if you are that determined get a doctor to take your EOD. if had friends die from MS And so much more God was at least swift in most cases, not my brothers case. guess its just how bad is bad and when is enough, enough. i don't play doctor and not a god to determine if its time. i do not have the answers but i can be there for you when its time and i cant continue right now. too close to home. knew better from the start but wanted to try. i am a fighter and have faiths i trust in. with my tumor removal and my seizures this one case called to me. hope and pray for him and his families for now have a blessed evening.