Hi,
How awful for you to have had numerous surgies and still have pain! I'm so sorry you are going through that. I understand about being older; (I'm 79) and losing friends to death. My very good friend died in May, 2024 and in July, 2024 my husband of 30 years also died. I know my friend and my husband are up in Heaven and that we will be together eventually in God's time but it's not easy to be alone. What really has helped me is God. God has been there for me since my husband died answering my prayers. I just talk to him like he's my best friend and he is! Ask for God's help with all that you are dealing with; both physically and mentally. He made you and he can fix you! God can also fix the world for your grandchildren. He made that too!

If you need to talk, I have a lot of time.
I will say a prayer for you and your grandchildren. I wish you the best.
PML