I'm right there with you and wish I had the magic to heal this. I'm facing a shoulder replacement in a few weeks and have come to understand how much chronic pain affects us. I've also suffered from anxiety/depression and its relationship to pain.

I have done a couple of things to mitigate what you and I are suffering from. The world, especially our country, has become surreal and foreign to me. I simply can't believe what is happening and have chosen to shut down all news. I allow only beauty in my life: music, art, reading, nature.

Second, at I have decided to adopt a palliative care only approach to my health. I have learned about the difference between palliative and hospice care and it's huge! Once I've recovered from my surgery, that is - lol! I will continue to take my usual medications, but will refuse any aggressive interventions and procedures. No more screenings, no MRIs, CT scans, etc. When my body can no long live pain-free and enjoy movement, when I get a serious diagnosis, I will accept comfort care with gratitude.

Third, I take medication for anxiety and depression which have been invaluable.

I'm 68 and, given my family history, thought I would be dealing with this 10 or 20 years from now. I have had a mostly beautiful life. I married a truly wonderful man over 40 years ago, enjoyed meaningful work, raised a daughter with learning disabilities who is now in graduate school studying social work. I was blessed with the most extraordinary parents imaginable. I have enjoyed great friendships (vanishing now), and beautiful places. The ability to think and enjoy complex ideas as well as a simple life.

One book and an article I read recently have been very validating and supportive: Natural Causes, by Barbara Ehrenreich and the attached article.

I am thinking of you and sending all best wishes for peace.