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Blaming and anger: How do you deal with it?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jan 31 8:00pm | Replies (87)Comment receiving replies
@pamela78
Thank you for caring. He’s physically able to do life as normal, so a care center is not needed. I’ve ruled out Lewy Body, and Frontal Temporal dementia. Its looking like a very long memory slide into Alzheimer’s. It’s things like technology confusion no matter how many times i help. He deletes apps forgetting what they are for. Then says where’s my …. App. I get so tired of new passwords and logins that he messes with. Or calls the wrong doctors for an appointment. Or tells his family things that are 1/2 correct. His memory of today may actually have happened months .
He still volunteers and does a great job. But following directions to put something together is very hard. We work together on those things.
I want to take One day at a time with patience, i think thats my peace ticket. I get so locked in to trying to anticipate the future that im not enjoying today.
Merry Christmas!
Replies to "@pamela78 Thank you for caring. He’s physically able to do life as normal, so a care..."
@rubyredkate My husband began showing signs of loss about seven years ago. At first I wasn't even sure I was noticing anything; I thought maybe it was just me. But when friends began to assure me that I wasn't making it up, I realized where we were going. It all went very slowly and he was able to function quite well for a long time. It was so gradual, until I began to feel a lot of frustration at his repetitiveness and generally annoying behavior. He started aggravating our Chihuahua, that we've had for nearly ten years, and there was a lot of chaos in the house. I nearly gave the dog away but, thankfully, I didn't. He keeps my company now and I'd be lost without him. My husband had a bad fall in August and that was a major turning point. It was clear something had to be done, so I really didn't have to make a decision. Without that fall, he might well be home today. How do you one day decide today's the day to find another home for him where he can get the care I can't provide. I have health issues too. If he were to fall again on my watch, we'd both be in big trouble. When you reach a breaking point, you'll know. Meanwhile, you cope the best you can. This is hard and that's the truth. I find the sadness almost the worst part of this ordeal. I'm sure I'm experiencing more grief than my husband is, for which I'm grateful. He has enough to contend with.
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@rubyredkate Me too, with being locked into the future. This MCI and the progression is scary. Really scary. And it's so hard to predict the future. My husband has the same technology problems. As for passwords my husband was hacked into last year at the end of the year. OMG, that was horrible. Someone got possession of his PC, and our accounts. So every password had to change, and I had to do it, and he has the list on paper, but I'm not sure every day what's going on up on that PC. And I'm so worried he will hit something again, and we'll be hacked into again. I need to take over the bills, that's been a bit of a challenge, but moving into 2026, that's a priority,
Yes following directions for my husband a challenge too. And I like you am trying to take one day at a time, but some days are so confusing and tiring for me, I can barely handle it all. I'm trying to just stay calm and get my mind into a more peaceful state. I didn't even put up a holiday tree this year, I was so maxed out! Merry XMAS to you too....and to every caregiver out there.