Colleen brought me in on this--and I can truly relate to your experience although mine was different and long in the past. Fifty years ago--I was 21--I spent 30 days in the ICU hovering between life and death with what was most likely swine flu. It might not be good news that this still affects me, but my life changed dramatically. It was highly traumatic for a young person. But I can share what has helped me a lot over the years. First of all, you are ahead of the game just in being able to understand what happened to you, and to be able to write about. I feel that having a narrative really helps. Over the years I have had psychotherapy, hypnosis (quite useful), and PT for residual physical problems. Also took up meditation as a way to calm body and soul. When I came to Connect a few years ago it was for breast cancer. I was amazed to see discussions about the ICU. It reawakened my memories but for the first time my experience had context, and I wasn't alone. What you wrote can help all of us understand your experience and the experience in general. Thank you, and do stay in touch. The passage of time helps, but I found that it didn't help completely. It is hard to explain to other people what it was like. Know that you are not alone, and I do believe that every effort--such as your exercise--will help.