Son estranged due to controlling spouse

@kayraymat
Your blessing the people whom you don’t like gives you lot of peace of mind.Only anger against them spoils our health
Love your clarity of mind

@premi
I am laughing because I realize that there really aren't that many
people in that category.....and that really it is probably not their
fault. But since I know most women were brought up to make
everything O.K. regardless of the circumstances, it is freeing
TO DISLIKE SOME PEOPLE..... 🙂

@premi
And I love a compliment.
thank you very much.
K

I too have two sons who were very close to me. Both of them married controlling women who would like to shut me out. My oldest refused to talk to me for over a year. I won't explain why here, but his wife told him he had to choose her or me. They tried to keep my granddaughter from me. I relied on the following sources for help:
Alienated Grandparents Anonymous
Dr. Joshua Coleman- Rules of Estrangement
Sher McGregor- No More Crying

If you'd like to talk, private message me.

I know how painful this can be.
But there is hope.

This sounds exactly like my story except my son adopted her two boys from previous relationship and I helped pay for it...aside from that I could have written yours...unbelievable what appears to be more and more common these days...I'm not sure if it's lack of empathy, or that they just don't love us enough...but after raising mine as a single struggling mother I have a hard time with swallowing this and having a hard time just letting it go...letting him go...letting my granddaughter go...my life will be over one day and they will not be even able to relate to me as family...without years of experiences, conversations, and get togethers...I am just stunned at the level of uncaring disconnect...It's been over 6 years since I have seen them and only when I randomly notice that one of their facebook profiles, mydaughter in law has three, are on can I sometimes get them to answer, rarely(couple times a year) and even though I can hear my granddaughters voice they refuse to allow me to speak with her, this seems abusive to me really and I know that I'm not perfect, no one is, but I have never done anything so bad that warrants this cruel treatment...it all started when he started dating her and our phone conversations had to always been on speaker phone...that pretty much explains how his reprogramming started and now none of his family EVER hears from him...birthdays, holidays, mothers day...all go by without a sound from them...I did not raise my son to treat family or anybody like this...and since his wife and mother in law have already attacked and threatened me, it scares me to think of what he must be living on a daily basis and how my granddaughter is being effected by the hate and disrespect towards his family...

This is what I fear based on who my son is getting engaged to. Except she has almost no family, so thinks he shouldn’t have anything to do with his family. She also has borderline personality disorder. I rarely get to see my son and now he’s saying he might “need space.” I’m heart broken. I feel your pain. Wish I had a solution for you!

@111mishkaz
Offer them love in your prayers. It has helped my situation.

When I say our stories are the same, wow!
My heart breaks every single day. My son lives 5 minutes away. I was so happy when they moved close! At that time I was still allowed in the picture.
Since then, I have been estranged. He barely speaks with his younger sister. They are 2½ yrs apart and we're (most always) best friends.
We were a very close family. My children were close with both of our parents. Family was just important and a priority. Like you, lots of missing context. But, in no way would I, his sister, any of our family, or anyone who knows/ever knew us believe this situation.
I was let in just long enough to fall in love with his gf's beautiful daughter. They shut me out and I know she thinks I just quit wanting to see her. They have also had a baby. I was luckily able to see 3 times. I am shattered.
He just, this week, canceled on a belated family gathering, as his sister lives out of state. She worked very hard trying to coordinate as he had his number changed and I don't have it. Me, my mother, and my daughter bawled in each other's arms, instead of having a happy memory making day. Who knows how many holidays she (or any of us for that matter) have. *we did end up making the best of it we could*
I am thankful her family loves him, but like your situation, her mother lives with them. It absolutely kills me that she gets to hug him every day.
He even once swore he'd never give a second thought to someone who would make him choose. She is close with her family. I assumed this would just be an easy blend. I did my best to make her feel welcome, just as I would want my daughter to be treated. Different beliefs and upbringings just haven't meshed. I also feel that she thought we were in a competition. A mind to young and immature to realize how different the relationships are, I guess. I cannot say I have navigated the whole thing without a misstep or two, but this was my first rodeo. Regardless, I have owned my missteps, and apologized, for what my son never would have given a second thought to before.
I miss him. I wonder if he really is happy. He's so robotic now. Sense of humor gone, or changed so dramatically noone dare attempt it with him. His old friends say he's "surface level" cordial. No glimpse of the guy they knew.
It literally takes every ounce of all that I have not to bang that door down, sit the 3 of them down, and say "WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?"
I may never know my grandchildren. I just don't understand how, in this ugly world, any parent couldn't want their children to have all the love and support possible for their children.
I pray for you, and all the estranged grandparents out there.