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Is it too late to improve my character?

Aging Well | Last Active: 4 days ago | Replies (42)

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I think personality is a genetic trait.

What you make out of the cards you are dealt in this life is what your character is composed of - the free will - if you will.

I tend to tell it like it looks to me, but thin skinned people get their feelings hurt and decide not to "like" me. Then they tend to make a judgement call: thinking I am a bad person just because I don't soft soap what I say.

I wish I was better at what I call "soft soaping" so as to not hurt people's feelings. But that feels fake and non-ingenuous if you will?

I don't know.

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Replies to "I think personality is a genetic trait. What you make out of the cards you are..."

@slarson14
One of the “Fruits of the Spirit” is kindness. God’s kindness saved us, our kindness reflects Him.

@slarson14

How about calling it acting after self reflection rather than soft soaping?

@slarson14 The challenge is in being kind & compassionate without being phony. It takes awareness, practice, & a willingness to be a bit uncomfortable as the new pattern gains a foothold. Being blunt and being straightforward are similar and yet worlds apart. It sounds as if you care, are more aware than in the past, willing to readjust your responses, and yet not ashamed. You’re in a good place & I admire your honesty.

@slarson14
Good morning @slarson14,
I believe it is a healthy exercise to speak what one feels is correct or truthful in most cases: We are who we are and all the stimuli out there can effect how we feel about many different topics. I find that when I am stimulated to inject my opinion regarding any topic, I always think about what to say a bit deeper prior to spurting my words out quickly. You mentioned "thin skinned people" and that you may have hurt their feelings in someway may be a sign from them that they have a different viewpoint then you might have expressed and this is OK. We're all human and regardless how thin or thick our skin is, for me personnaly, I feel by pausing before replying or speaking to anyone, may project a calmer and less offensive attitude about any discussion material.
Therefore, by listening a bit longer to what others are discussing, when one is asked how do they feel about the subject matter, they may find themselves expressing what they actually are feeling, but with less assertiveness and subsequently, more acceptaable responses are seen as consideration for others.
You sound like a sensitive individual and I believe that your writing expresses that you do care about others and maybe, in some situations you may have had your feelings hurt and are protective about who you really are.
I appreciated your openness in your writing and I think it contributes to heightening awareness when involved in any diaglogue.
Thnks again and best to you in the New Year.
Jofree