@georgescraftjr Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me, especially today, when I took my husband to a Christmas luncheon hosted every year by the university library for which he worked as a reference librarian for 42 years. I was so worried about how the outing would go that I literally lost sleep over it. It all went better than I'd expected, despite many hiccups, and people were kind. I'm pretty sure this will be the last time I try to take him to any similar occasions. Maybe it's because I'm exhausted and spent the last three hours on the couch that I'm feeling so sad and brokenhearted and I can't even express this to my husband. All I can do is carry on as if all of this is normal and perfectly under control. I do my best to remain cheerful and affectionate and that seems to be enough for him. There is no way I could care for my husband at home, though he wants that more than anything. It was his bad fall in August that brought on the decision to find him a place at a very good assisted living facility that's about a ten-minute drive from my house. It's easy for me to visit him often and I've become a familiar regular and can engage with other residents, who also have obvious difficulties. One gentleman is 105 years old. My husband is quite taken with him. No, none of this is easy, but I believe it's important to listen to your gut and make the best decision for both your loved one and yourself. My son-in-law's mother died of Alzheimer's at age 72 a couple of years ago. She was much too young to suffer this terrible disease. Her husband kept her at home until the end. His daughter wanted her mother to go to assisted living or memory care but he refused. His son, my daughter's husband, went along with his dad and did all he could to be helpful. At the time, I thought he was very brave and strong to keep his wife at home with hired caregivers, but seeing all the advantages of a good senior community (it has to be a good one!) for my husband, I'm convinced that if you can afford a good place, it's a good idea to take advantage of it. My husband was and to a degree remains very sociable. At home he had only me. Where he is now, he has lots of company, many activities to do or not, a pair of parakeets in the main atrium that give him endless amounts of pleasure. We each have to chart this course mostly on our own, but we have lots of company. I never before knew just how much. The conflict about what would be appropriate care for s-i-l's mother fractured the family and it still hasn't healed. This is truly a family disease.