@suzleigh I understand how confusing diagnosis criteria in the DSM for Mental Health Disorders. What is important to remember is this is a tool, not an exact science and there can be a great overlap especially when it comes to Cluster B personality subsets. There are traits that may accompany various such diagnoses but not everyone demonstrates all these traits or are necessarily aware of; it may exhibit differently in different individuals and at different times/circumstances. While, as you stated, "quiet BPD" is not listed seperately, this does not mean it is a problem by any means when it comes to treatment. These can include schema therapy (delving into long held internalized beliefs about themselves), mentalization (focusing on actions, thoughts and other's feelings/intentions) or dialectical therapy (mindfulness and emotional regulation).

I would also caution against any type of self-diagnosis in any physical or mental health situation as this could lead down an entirely divergent path that may lead to misinterpretation, increased anxiety or something called "confirmation bias" where an individual is led to believe one thing when another is actually the root of the situation. That can delay effective treatment.

Are you working with a mental health professional at the current time?Can you explain more about what you mean about "getting people to listen"?