It will probably make you angry, but I’ll tell you what works for me - and I have a similar medical history. When you feel at the end of your rope seek God’s help. Will He heal you? It’s possible, but I’ve been asking for that for decades now and am still waiting. But He doesn’t promise to heal us here - sometimes we have to wait until we join Him in Heaven for that to happen- and He promises that the healing is guaranteed then. So I’m suggesting that you pray for healing, but sometimes His answer is no, or not yet. What really works, if you are a follower of Jesus Christ, is the knowledge that He is always beside you - and if you ask for His help, He will help hold you up and get you through it. I can’t tell you how many times He has done this for me. Do I get depressed or angry sometimes? Of course, I’m human and sometimes my faith wavers, but even then He gets me through the bad times - and sometimes those bad times seem to last forever. I don’t know if you are a believer, but if you’re not, I highly recommend you look into becoming one. Trust me, it’s frequently the only thing that gets you through and gives you peace.