No erection after 5 years after radical prostatectomy

My wife said she was ok with my using the shots, but that she didn't want to give or even see them. So far, after 4 or 5 shots I still haven't found the right dosing, even though the doctor's sample worked fine. No erection or climax this calendar year, so I'll keep trying.

Are there conversation threads here written by those of us that are permanently impotent due to our prostatectomies? I am not looking for advice on implants or Trimix injections. I can perform with Trimix but it is very challenging to get to the finish line. I am looking for threads about how you are mentally handling this ED. I think about it every day as I continue to use a VED in the evenings to keep blood flowing into my penis. I think about it every time the guys at golf crack a "boner" joke. I am not in a depression but knowing I will never have a natural erection again is sobering. It may be serendipity because, due to her own biology issues, sex was becoming more and more painful for my wife prior to my prostatectomy 3 years ago. She might be relieved because we make love far less now. She is not craving sex. So let me know what goes on inside your head, not your genitals, if you had damaged nerves that never healed like mine didn't.

@tomf
My husband is 63 and will be having internal radiation in January for his prostate cancer. We were going to have the removal but after we talk to a radiologist the side effects we're going to be a lot different so we are now choosing radiation the internal radiation which is two sessions and it's all done. The effects will come 5 to 10 years down the road which he'll then be in his '70s and we'll have a different mindset by then.

@kila1988
The only radiation I know of that can be done in two sessions is brachytherapy. That radiation is very effective and is used heavily in Europe.

Is that what he is having?

I was diagnosed at 62 and had surgery. It came back three years later and I had radiation. I’ve had three more reoccurrences and I’m still alive at 78. Last two years I’ve been undetectable. They’ve got great drugs now and they’ll be getting better, Your husband’s very likely will live into his 80s or longer.

I had my surgery January 2, 2020...I chose surgery because my biopsy showed a very aggressive cancer. I was told then that if I went with radiation you can't do surgery as a back up plan...I have a PSA test every four months and since my surgery my cancer is undetectable...but I still can't get an erection unless I do the shots...thank God I have an incredible wife who gives me the shot. I was 65 when I had my surgery and I'm 70 now and I still crave sex...all the time! I've had a Great five years with my wife, my kids and grand kids...I feel lucky in life and hope to have many more years.

A rarity... guys talking about the emotional impact of this.

A year post-prostatectomy & still no response down there.
It's depressing - not in a clinical way, but in a "this sucks cause it's a constant reminder that things are damaged or missing" way.

Having said that.... we're on the right side of the dirt.

But it's still not nice.
Extensive studies have shown that peeing yourself is not very sexy.

1 year post-op, I'm still on the VED & Cialis - neither of which are having much effect.
Needles & I are not friends, so Trimix etc isn't top of my Christmas list.

But yes... the whole thing is disheartening - and I've read that a year post-op, natural erections are about as good as they'll get.
With that, constant blood tests & the recurrence always hovering over us, it's natural to feel very negative about the whole thing.

But we're alive to come here & vent about it.

@tomf I had lots of conflicting thoughts and much frustration. Something that was always effortless and could ALWAYS be counted on was now suddenly and irrevocably gone…still is almost 7 yrs post surgery and salvage radiation.
But now in my early 70’s and my wife very close behind, sex is not as present in our lives as it once was; don’t really know if natural aging would have done that anyway, but the cancer certainly robbed us of years of sexual enjoyment.
My advice, FWIW, is that if there is a ‘non natural’ (pills, injection) way for you to achieve an erection, don’t think twice - DO IT.
Your old sexual self is gone ( thru no fault of your own) so it’s time to embrace the new you. Just look at it like high blood pressure meds and statins - sometimes no matter how much we diet and exercise, we still need help. This is no different. Best,
Phil

@tomf As I read your comments I felt as if I wrote it . I’m shy of 2 yrs since treatment and nothing is working for me I’ve given up on injections not working for me and I wanted implants but too risky if I can have the pleasure of an orgasm. I wake up each morning semi depressed looking at my attractive 67 year old wife and I’m 79 . We use to have sex 3 times a week but she would have been happy with once a week, maybe I’m being punished for being greedy and expecting too much from her since sex for her is no longer important. I shop, cook and do dishes every day for 40 yrs and ran a successful business for 50 yrs leaving the house at 4:30 every morning. I felt I deserved 15 minutes of pleasure 3 times a week and almost considered separation when a few years ago she implied once a week was it but fortunately we worked that out . The thought of never making love to a person you love for so long gives me great sadness. We hug and kiss each morning and night but it’s not the same . Wish I got got another type of illness but this one will hurt forever. Good luck to you and others missing an important part of your past life .

@graybeard46 Been over a decade since I've been in anything warm and wet.

Good Luck!

Cancer sucks and then you die

@briang1958 🥵🥵