@dennismm
Hi, my wife died November 2024 after 60 years of marriage. She was in hospital, but for me her death was unexpected and I still feel bitter about the way the hospital missed signs of infection and reacted too late. I just can't get out of my mind her saying "hold my hand" and "don't go," the night before she died. She knew the end was near, but it wasn't apparent to my family, and the doctors told us nothing to prepare us.
One of my sons lives close by and spends several nights a week here, but when I'm alone, I talk to here and keep thinking she has just gone away and will be back.
Fortunately at age 85 I can still ride my bike with a group 2-3 times per week and dine out a couple times with friends. I am slowly disposing of some of her cycling clothes, but I will keep some. (We rode a tandem together for years). I dread having to empty her closet of all her clothing, although friends have offered to help. There is no urgency.