@paulapyxis , and everyone who is new here, welcome (and also sorry you have to find yourself here, looking for answers!).
I will second what @thull said about the anxiety not being worth taking the risk of eating "whatever you want." Different people have different issues and reasons for their obstructions (mine are due to adhesions from multiple surgeries a long time ago), so my experience might not necessarily apply.
For myself lately, though, I TRY to imagine that everything I eat will need to pass as quickly as possible through a tube the size of a straw or smaller, as quickly as possible, and yet still be nutritious.
Obviously, if I get caught with an actual obstruction and food behind it in my digestive tract, I'm probably in trouble. But by at least reducing the chances of something big getting stuck, I feel a lot less anxious--and because of this new strategy--I think--I was able to make it through my last obstruction without going to the ER (although in general one should probably go, to be safest), and vomiting only once instead of 5-15 times!
I've also started to stretch and move around/take walks after each meal, especially reaching upwards over my head, arching back, and moving side-to-side. It just seems that this MIGHT have a chance of "ungluing" adhesions when they start to stick together. I'm not sure about that, but it's worth trying (and stretching feels good anyway)!
I also chew everything--even juices--like crazy to get the digestive process going.