Am sorry you have lost a grown child. It is hard at any age. It sounds as though you do need to reach out for some help - and soon. There is no time line for grieving.

And if it is any consolation: 911 emergency services, as well as law enforcement agencies can do only so much. They are overloaded with emergency calls for drug overdoses as well as alcohol related social issues. If you son was in a corn field and could not give an address or be located it would be useless to send out police or ambulance on a looking for a needle in a haystack call.

I know that may not make you feel better...but your son is one among many who call for help frequently and become what is known in 911 and law enforcement as well as in the medical system as "frequent fliers". We in medicine and law enforcement are there for one reason: to help others. We don't go into it to be uncaring or callous, we go into the profession to HELP those that can be helped.

Before going into the medical field I was a 911 operator for three years. I would even get calls for houses on fire and the person would not stay on the line long enough for me to get an address; or I would get a call from a woman who got senselessly drunk, adding oxycontin to her Friday night routine. I am not trying to make excuses, but we in the helping professions reach out and reach out - but until a person addicted to drugs and or alcohol WANT help in a non-emergency situation (which your son was NOT in when he was a a psychotic state, driving no less) then we in the helping professions cannot MAKE an addict get help.

Nine times out of ten, addicts and alcoholics want our help when they are in a pickle due to their own choices, we save them each time we can, but they go right back to their own self destruction.

Law enforcement and 911 are not therapists OR social workers, or psychiatrists. They are not perfect. Just as your son was not perfect, none of us are.

Anger is normal in any death situation and one looks to blame something or someone or some entity.

Asking for reports from law enforcement agencies, hospitals (for ER visits) is MUCH more complex these days than anyone can ever imagine. Due to the litigious atmosphere any request for anything remotely related to HIPPA has to go through a multitude of channels in any agency: and you can count on a priority to any requested paperwork and a MINIMUM of 90 days to get a request fulfilled.

I do not think your son was treated any differently than any other emergency call because he was an addict. There is no one more anxious to help addicts, alcoholics, and homeless than 911 and the police. This is because those three categories of calls take up 75% of the time of medical and law enforcement these days. If we could help more we would, but like I said: we are 911 operators and law enforcement.

911 operators get help to where we can, as fast as we can to ALL people, regardless of their issues; law enforcement is there to enforce laws, not provide social services. This is why, these days, MANY policing agencies are now having social workers and psychologists added to their staffing.

Again, I am sorry for your loss and please do get some active support.
You did the best you could as a mother, with whatever you had. At some point our children (I have 4 grown ones) are responsible for their own direction and whether they sink or swim. Give yourself a break and forgive yourself so you can let go of the misdirected anger. It serves little purpose.