You've come to the right place. You're not the first person in the forum who struggled with depression, and everyone's here for each-other.

If you don't mind sharing, what kind of cancer are you living with? There are some subforums here for specific types of cancers where you might be able to get more-detailed information.

I was also disabled after my prostate cancer: spinal compression from a metastasis put me in a hospital bed for 3½ months, then a wheelchair, then a walker, then a cane. I understand your frustration: it was literally adding insult to injury, finding out I had stage four cancer, then finding out I wouldn't even be able to walk to enjoy the few years I had left.

(In fact, I was lucky; I initially expected to live only 3–5 years, but after 4 years I'm still in full remission and NED thanks to new treatments and miracle drugs, and have about 80% of my mobility back thanks to years of grinding physio; still, I didn't know any of that would happen when I was dealing with my new reality back in 2021).