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Bipolar adult son refuses any mental health treatment - help
Mental Health | Last Active: 5 hours ago | Replies (36)Comment receiving replies
@bewildered
Thank you for your reply. Let me clarify what happened in my home …. My son had a major episode that required treatment three years ago but refused all medication and counseling since leaving Genrose. I have supported him - emotionally and financially since. Invested in his living as full of a life as possible. Enrolled him in study programs, provided housing. Even had him in my home for 7 of the last nine years - which is when my husband passed away . Despite my encouragement and love, mental illness returned and will continue to do so - until I can convince him to be open to getting well. At least giving mental illness treatment a three month chance. I promised my other four children that if he ended up giving everything he owns and ending up homeless again - which he has - that I would warmly welcome him in , but would expect him to pursue mental health help ( therapy or medication or a combination of both ). He has flatly refused. I did not force him onto the streets , I simply stated that for him to be in my home that seeking mental health treatment for at least three months was expected. He chose to walk. Breaks my heart. My son is not his mental illness. It is not his fault. He is so amazing. But bringing his disorder into our home when he completely refuses to help himself is doing none of us a service. I am always here for him. Always. He knows that. My parting words of how much I love him. Regarding the information you shared regarding your home … I am so proud of how you have fought for your son. Medically, emotionally and financially. That’s beautiful. It appears your son is open to help - in all three areas, whereas my son would not do anything to help his mental health. I think what you are providing is exactly what I would be honored to offer my son - but addressing his mental health must be a part of it. Until he accepts that, I can not help. But know…. I even have a signed taped to my front door welcoming him home ( should he come by) and that we love him and are here to help him help himself. I wish you continued strength. Your dedication to your son is beautiful.
Replies to "@bewildered Thank you for your reply. Let me clarify what happened in my home …. My..."
@mercerspring thank you for sharing more of your story, I had missed your last post about your son moving out already when I first replied. I am so sorry. It is obvious that you love him and have done everything you can for him. It is so hard living with this cloud of mental illness, even when they are not living with us, it’s a constant worry. Even when the medication is working, my son is still not the same person he was 10 years ago. It is like there has been a lot of damage to him physically, emotionally, socially. He doesn’t take good care of himself anymore. He struggles now with relationships with others and has problems with money, spending all he has at times. Many times he refuses to listen to reason and it made life here at home very combative. He has lived on and off with our other two children and that was very hard on them. He is the oldest but they always felt like they had to take care of him, and was always difficult to live with. It’s weird because he was always so nice, smart and athletic, and conscientious growing up. An honor student. It’s heartbreaking to have seen the changes. Life is already so hard. I am sorry that you are dealing with this alone since your husband passed, that must be so hard on you. You are incredibly strong, and I really admire you for doing all that you have. I don’t think I could do it. I have even asked my husband please not to go first because I couldn’t do this without him. And I don’t blame parents that have had to let their adult kids with mental illness go, and become homeless because it is unbearable, and often they reach a point that there is nothing anyone can do. I pray every day now. For a long time I didn’t pray, as I was angry about the unfairness of all this. But praying now gives me an inkling of hope that things will get better. And that’s all we have. I pray that your son seeks treatment and comes home to be near you. I pray that you and I and others on this forum that are struggling and dealing with mental illness can find some peace.
@mercerspring You are doing the right thing - don’t give upon your tough love!
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@mercerspring thank you for your kind words and sharing. You have given a lot and been through so much already. You’re right, it’s much easier when they will agree to treatmemt and one gets periods of calmness. Once he gets back to being stable after this last episode, I am praying for a calm period. I am adding you to my prayers that your son seeks treatment for his sake as well as yours and your family. It is so hard to be in that position. Please keep writing and stay in touch, I have found this portal so helpful, at the least to see that we are not alone. We never tell anyone and live with this in secret, it’s so hard. Prayers