You are certainly not alone and your feelings are more than understandable.
You do need a support system, other Moms/Families in the same situation as you/your family.
Does the hospital he is in currently have family groups? They should...if not perhaps they can point you in the right direction.
Try to reach out to your local NAMI despite feeling so low. Perhaps make a date in the very near future to sit down, pencil and paper in hand, and start the ball rolling with phone calls, asking for resources, support, etc.
Yes, you can continue on line...but it's always better to be in a group together and hear other stories - in person - just like your own, or even worse, and share together.
Good luck to you!