Connect
← Return to Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Discussion
Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 17 hours ago | Replies (498)Comment receiving replies
Hello All
This is my first comment on this site. My husband was diagnosed with MCI one year ago. He also has orthostatic hypotension, which causes him to faint pretty often. So my frustration today was due to the snow that fell in our area. Hubby has always been the one to shovel and clear the pathway and driveway. But because of his fainting, he shouldn't be shoveling. But he was defiant, got dressed and proceeded to shovel. I kept asking him to come in because I hired teens to shovel tomorrow in the AM. He just kept at it until I could tell he was feeling unwell.
He finally came in to my relief. But when he does his own thing, it stresses me immensely because I have to deal with the faint, which comes with seizure like activity and vomiting. Then he doesn't remember it happened.
What do other wives do when their husband has MCI, but think they are invincible and do not heed a loving wife's advice?
Replies to "Hello All This is my first comment on this site. My husband was diagnosed with MCI..."
Connect
@ladybugcarebear that is a hard situation to deal with, especially when being defiant or sticking to his guns can cause him harm. It seems to me that @tunared shared a story a while back about his wife using the stove and leaving on the burner. Another situation that causes the caregiver distress and can do harm to the person with MCI.
So what does one do? That's a tough question to answer. But I'll try...forgive me if my suggestions are off-base.
I wonder if your husband might be taking issue with phrases that focus on him and what he should and shouldn't do. It's so tempting to say things like "You shouldn't shovel." Or "the doctor said with your heart you're not fit to..." "You can't..." etc.
Instead, focus on others. "Isn't is great to see young people willing to help their neighbors and shovel..." or "I'm thankful that we can pay these young people to shovel the driveway and they're off their phones for a bit..."
I get that his actions cause you stress. That's a lot to handle on top of everything. How are you doing today?