I too recently was counted as one who faces the loss of a spouse of 50 years. There is no time limit on grief so people who think you should be over it are just plain ignorant. My grief counselor said those who love the most grieve the most. I moved away from my home and friends at the same time so started over. Fortunately I do have a son and his family and they have been my life line but all of us still have that emptiness and loss. Getting through the holidays I’m sure will be very difficult. If you are able maybe you could volunteer someplace. I don’t know your religious background but my pastor recommended Gary Roe and his books have helped a great deal. My prayers are with you as you navigate this awful path.