You're very welcome John, and thank you for the kind reply. (RMDs are "required minimum distributions" from IRAs and other retirement accounts, right? My wife and I have to start dealing with those in two years - we're 71.)

I understand how the past can wear on a person. It's hard to turn off your mind. At night, I say a little serenity prayer, and it works, if you're a believer, or not:

"Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

You can address this to God or Jesus or Yahweh or Mohammed or Buddha, or just the universe at large. The part about "serenity to accept the things I cannot change" is very helpful for me, and it applies to all the things in my past I wish I hadn't done, or had done differently. Turns out it doesn't matter. We can't change any of it, and from a place of serenity, we can accept that. It works most of the time for me, and I hope you find it useful.

And for those things in my past where I have hurt another person or persons, I've made every effort to make amends, and not just an apology. It's easier than it sounds. Most people are very forgiving, or they've forgotten the grievance.

All the best John.

Joe