@zenren14 Thank you for the encouragement and great suggestions. If my younger self could still run, I would. That was always my safe escape. I love writing, but hate Journaling with a passion bc it always makes me really angry and usually results in a bonfire. I tried it a few times this week and it hurt but also felt good bc it was a way for me to feel like I still have a connection with my best friend. I'm afraid to open up about the depths of my grief for fear of someone labeling me as "crazy" etc. My heart feels like its in shambles and I'm struggling to find healthy ways to deal with the grief so I can heal and move on with life. I guess this is what happens when denial turns into a mountain. I know it'll get better in time...at least, that's what people say. I feel like I just need to sit in silence surrounded by friends who are ready to give hugs when I ask. Sounds crazy, but I think that's what I’ve been missing. Thanks for being a listening ear, friend. I know that I am loved.