Hello Pamdga,
Reading your story touched my heart. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. You need support and love at this difficult time. Sometimes the people we thought would be there for us after a loss of a loved one, are not. They perhaps avoid bringing up our loved one, and feel we should be moving on sooner. It can be so heartbreaking. It is such a whole in our heart, the loss is overwhelming. The loss of my son to cancer was four months ago, I cry daily. My mind goes over and over again my last minutes with him. Wishing it was not real. It hurts when people in your life are not there for you. People who have not experienced such a loss may not understand. But it would mean so much if they listened and showed love and support. Sending you Prayers and Hugs