You are not alone in thinking this, hugs! I was in my 30s, tested negative for the genes.

Doing intack with my oncologist, her very first question was if I'd been exposed to asbestos.

Oh boy have I! We used to crawl around in it all the time in high school.

But also I spent 4 years cooking with an unventilated stove in an apartment where the girl who lives there right before me moved out because she *also* got cancer in her 30s...

I've lived next to freeways, a couple miles from some of the largest wheat fields in America, and drank out of plastic everything. I was blonde and spent my teens years dumping J&J baby power with talc on my head every other day as a dry shampoo.

I've lived mostly in 1940s and older houses and we never filtered the lead out or replaced the lead pipes.

I was also pregnant when I palpitated the tumor, which I've learned later ups your chances.

These may or may not add up, something is going on, my friends keep messaging me at 39, 40, 41 as they too are diagnosed.

But lastly I'm this super long post - I also have had a lot of trauma in my life.

When I went through The Grief Recovery Handbook post-treatment, I did a timeline and had 54 separate grief/trauma events in the 38 years before diagnosis.

I grew up in a family where you were punished if you acted in any way that might show that life was not 1000% amazing, and I, as the oldest, had to especially have that attitude for the younger kids.

I think all the environmental damage and emotional damage my body took definitely contributed to the cancer cells growing so quickly. TNBC is something that is pretty high in population groups that have historically had a lot of abuse, and have been regulated to homes and neighborhoods with a lot more pollution. 😢

But! While it was totally awful, for once in my life I got to stand up for myself and my emotions and proclaim that it *was* totally awful!!

I got to scream cry at God and clutch my husband and son together that our baby was so young and I couldn't hold him or care for him, and we just prayed those lamenting prayers. And we did get through it.

I wish you so much healing. I am so sorry.