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Hi,
I'm so sorry that you experienced this terrible loss in your life of good friends! What an awful shock and how lonely you must feel. My husband of 30 years died of lung cancer in 2024 so I understand the lonliness but his death was expected. I'm sure your friends' deaths weren't expected which makes it much worse for you to deal with. What has helped me the most was prayer. I gave all my grief and loneliness up to God and asked for his help and he has helped me immensely. I just talk to God like he's my best friend and he is! I know that my husband is up in Heaven and we'll be together in God's time. It's just lonely waiting. Your dear friends are all up in Heaven also and you will be reunited with them eventually in God's time also. Remember before Jesus died he said, "I go to prepare a place for you." and he did. Be thankful that you had such nice, dear friends and had I'm sure very enjoyable times with them. You were fortunate to have found special people like them to share your life with. Many of us aren't so lucky.
If you need to talk I have plenty of time. I'll say a prayer for you.
I wish you the best.
PML
Replies to "Hi, I'm so sorry that you experienced this terrible loss in your life of good friends!..."
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@pml Hey there! I deeply appreciate your openness and honesty. And, I am SO sorry to hear about your husband's passing! :'( But, you said it exactly right - when we have the right hope, we can KNOW where our loved ones will be and that we will see them again, in time. Right now, I have survivor's guilt for a lot of reasons, which I know is pretty common. Prayer is my #1 outlet because God has always been #1 in my life since day one, and He always will be. So, I'm very thankful that I am able to converse with Him all day long, at my leisure; I could NOT do this life w/o Him (or the body of Christ)! That being said, there are practical aspects to this, which is where I'm really held up atm. My best friend died suddenly of a heart attack while at the store and never made it to the hospital. The other four were part of a family of five that I know from my university. One of the sons was mentally unstable and "snapped," so he shot his parents and one brother during the night, set the house on fire, then killed himself in public a block away from my school. It's all just so unbelievable. And, what's worse - this just reinforces what could have happened at work due to the unstable situation of my coworker who was another close friend of mine. I warned management of the appropriate red flags for 6 months and they continued to look away and not document nor deal with the situation. Finally, after catching my friend trying to openly harm herself at work, I knew things were bad and had to breach trust, which felt horrible (especially given my background - long story). They still did nothing, but I continued to press in because I had knowledge of an active hit list she had, which contained some of my coworkers on it. After too many confrontations and realizing they were OK with jeopardizing the safety of their own people, I quit without any notice because I no longer felt safe and was not going to stick around and have my throat possibly slit (not even joking - she carried knives with her, etc). There are tons more things I could say that add to the many layers of grief, but this last week really hit hard. Finding out so close together all on the same day is what really hurt. It was during the funeral yesterday for my best friend that finally everything sunk in and I felt like I was drowning. I just sat and cried. A lot. A sweet older lady who I didn't even know just came up to me and held me. She acknowledged the depth of my grief and her presence alone gave me peace. Thankfully, exhaustion protected me today from that reoccurring. After enduring SO many deaths over the years, I'm not sure why this one is hitting me the hardest. Especially when I know where he is. Been reflecting a lot upon that...oy vey. 😔 Thank you for your concern and prayers - I will never turn that down!