In my life of over eight decades, I am not sure if I ever wept even a tenth of what I did in the last ten days since I had to put my cat to sleep because of his no-way-out problems of old age (21 years) with no viable solution, even tho I was feeding him in his last weeks what he liked most: sardines, tuna, and lastly chicken. But he kept losing weight -- half of its weight, with visible signs of a crooked protruding shoulder. I had cried because I thought maybe I took his life More to make My life more livable than his -- an impossibly complex question to find out as to how much I was being 'selfish' and how much I truly was interested in reducing his suffering.

It seems he 'visited' me in the middle of my night sleep yesterday and said to me: Seeing You in pain makes me miserable, knowing we had a long loving and enjoyable life together. He told me to remember how I had participated in 'pulling the plug on a dear nephew of mine because his life had reduced to a hospital bed hooked to machines.

He asked me to promise him to never be sad -- and remember him with all the sweet memories we had until his last breath. My cat had shown me how to embrace life. He also said he'll drop by now and then. And yes he did, as I said to him: 'Soo Good to see you see you, Bobby' I greeted him with. He smiled ... already seeing US starting to live in a new relationship!

My cat, my therapist friend, my teacher who showed me how to love.