Good Morning - It is a horrible journey you are on. My sister was diagnosed as stage 2 IDC and ILC. She had a double mastectomy with spacers for later reconstruction. She had 4 lymph nodes test positive. She really did not want chemo. The oncologist was wonderful. He did not want to put her through chemo unless she absolutely needed it. The cut off for chemo is if you have 4 or more lymph nodes positive. Since she was on the line, he recommended and facilitated a second opinion from MD Anderson in Houston. I was thrilled that she was referred to a cancer center of excellence. The oncologist sent all of my sisters' information to MD Anderson and they did a virtual consultation (she wouldn't have to travel to Houston). MD Anderson concluded that she needed chemo.
My sister was still hesitant; however, her oncologist explained it this way and that helped her to make the decision to have the chemo. He said that lymph nodes are like pool skimmers. They get 98% of what is in the pool, but there is always a leaf or something that gets by. This is why the chemo was important, for whatever the lymph nodes missed.
My sister has finished her first round (using the ice gloves and boots). She did great. Second round next week. She chose to shave her head since 100% of the women lose their hair on this chemo. I believe that her action to shave her head was important. It gave her a sense of control over the process and rather than wait and dread the day the hair came out in the shower, she had already mentally prepared herself. A few hats and scarves and she is in a good place mentally.
I am hoping all goes well for you.