I came on this forum because when I googled pain forums I found your comments. I know it says August but I wish I knew what year. The first few words sounded familiar. Not because I had read them before but because I live it everyday. I was a firefighter. Now I am a disabled firefighter. While still on active duty 2001 I had my first fusion. L4/L5 of course and the diagnosis of degenerative disc disease. 2010 brought me a double bypass and retirement that I wasn't wanting yet. 2011 L3 was fused to the other two. Now 2025 brings arthritis in my spine leg joints and hands. My back is always severe pain. I have a spinal stimulater that does nothing. It does have a tense machine mode that I use to cover some of the pain and hides my restless legs because yes I get to have that too. I've been though the depression and alcoholic stage but I have been sober 15 years. I'm not on any medications because at this point they just want to keep putting shots in my back and several ablation. So having said all the I am at the point that you ask in your comments. Why and for how much longer do I have to suffer this way. What is the point. Why with all the medical knowledge and new technologies cant they stop or pain. So many days I just dont want to get out of bed unfortunately I have a wife like you talk about that just doesn't realize the pain so I get up and keep trying. I think I am back in the depression stage. At least I have zero desire to drink. But I like others on here have to think why can't it end?