@sriddle1

Sorry for late reply - we are located in the Bay Area and we are receiving care at local UC hospital (SF). Those hospitals tend to be extremely busy but they offer really good care ONCE you push yourself into the system and I mean literary "push". Do not hesitate to call as many times as needed and ask questions without reservations. Unfortunately "squeaky wheel gets all of the attention" so squeak away ; ). Yes - try UCLA by all means.

@ucla2025 suggested a book - absolutely try to buy it ASAP and read as fast as you can.

Regarding PSA after RP - PSA after surgery is falling by half every 3 days and it should be undetectable after 6-7 weeks in your case. My husband had almost exact PSA as yours before surgery and by week 7 it was less than 0.014. You should insist on ultra sensitive test (one that checks PSA with 3 decimals after 0 due to having such aggressive cancer and the first PSA also has some prognostic value, even if undetectable (according to new studies).

I know exactly what you are talking about when you mention aloof attitude of your partner and as @ucla2025 stated, it is defensive mechanism - cancer looks less scary when one does not acknowledge it's "scariness". On the other hand, it puts tremendous pressure on a partner/wife since all decisions that are basically "life and death" decisions are placed in your hands and that is huge responsibility. Not to mention that one has to balance information sharing which needs to be dosed in small increments while situation requires 5 -alarm fire sirens and immediate actions. It would be like explaining that perhaps one needs to look into buying life-west and one is already half way under water and needs not only a west, but boat and food supply for 3 mos at sea. Anyhow - I was in this limbo since February and am still not even close to be out of it . I am not complaining, I love this man immeasurably and I do not care about sleep or no sleep, I am just trying to say that I understand you 100% and as you see, it is not unusual for a person to have hard time accepting and acknowledging such a scary diagnosis. At the same time, I am grateful that he is not effected by it since if I saw him crying or being sad I would just loose it, honestly. Seeing his smile and him being upbeat kept me sane all of these months < 3 . You can do it !!! Love conquers all ! 😉