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@dlgbb Now I understand why they did so much radiation. It was due to "substantial lymphovascular space invasion". I had very little invasion (though it'll only take one rogue cell to ruin my life). You said, "part of me feels like I shouldn’t ever feel down, or have days when I worry about recurrence." Feeling down and worrying about recurrence is normal after a cancer diagnosis. We never know if we are truly cured, so everyone worries about recurrence, no matter what stage they're in or what mutations they have, and that makes us feel down. Those feelings are independent of other people having it better or worse. YOUR life is now different. Own it, mourn the past, and be optimistic (happy it was caught early in your case). All of those feelings are normal and okay.

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Replies to "@dlgbb Now I understand why they did so much radiation. It was due to "substantial lymphovascular..."

@inquirer, Thank you so much. You totally understand. I understand the dilemma that you faced, too. After my surgery, I was offered the chance to be in a clinical study and forego the radiation, with the “wait and see” approach. After discussion with my kids and husband, they asked that I do it. It was so tempting, though, to make the other decision. We never really know what is the right thing to do, do we? What made me decide to do it is that the study paperwork stated that the survival rate was very good for POLe mutations, but it was unknown whether it was good just because of the mutation, or because of the mutation/surgery/radiation combination. I didn’t want to risk it. The high grade and substantial lymphovascular space invasion scared me, and I didn’t want to take a chance. Just think - in a few years when the clinical trial study is done, somebody else may not need to make that decision!