I noticed the withdrawal from me about 6 months before it actually happened. Once my wife to be started planning her wedding, I felt the pull away. I even drove the 1.5 hours to the town he lives in to meet with him privately at a coffee shop to find out what was up. I got told...a lot going on...stressful times at work...all the reading for marriage classes...getting the license...yadda yadda yadda. No I still love you mom, just really busy.

The weekend of the wedding came...and all appeared to be well. It was a small affair at a restaurant and there was no band so I thought...no dancing. Well...I was wrong. They started piping in music and the bride and groom danced. I was thrilled. The father of the bride danced with his daughter. I got myself ready to be called up. Then the mother and the father of the bride had a dance. I was confused but I signaled from across the room..."hey..you and me...dance?" And my son waved me off with a panicked look..."no mom".

I was so stunned and heartbroken I didn't know what to do. I couldn't sit there and cry...so I tried to discreetly slip out.

Well...needless to say I was told I was selfish and made it all about me. I was the villain because I left hoping to avoid detracting from their day. The day after I apologized to the parents of the bride saying I was just stunned by being left out. They in turn informed me that supposedly my son was asked twice about a mother of the groom dance and he replied "she never got back to us." I didn't even know they were having music. It's funny because I took them out to brunch just 2 weeks prior to the wedding and nothing was mentioned.

So, I tried to take the high road...I said you didn't bother to let me know your plans, I didn't handle my feelings well...let's just chalk it up to one horrendous oversight and move on...no harm no foul. But that wasn't good enough. I said maybe we should take a break to cool off before anything else was said...and since then I have been given the cold shoulder. I was also told "when and if we want to reconnect, we will be in touch" my d-i-l speaking for both of them. I tried a couple of times to reach out but my texts are blocked and I was blocked from FB.

I went to therapy. My therapist thinks my reaction to being excluded and blindsided was normal. She suggested honoring their space but sending an apology note. I have since sent 2. One to both of them, and one just to her.

I struggle with what I should do next. I noticed I can still IM so I sent a couple of funny videos to my son. Just things that reminded me of him and maybe 2 over the last 5 months. I worry that mailing something to both of them via his home address will simply be intercepted and tossed.

Everyone advises to just drop it and not do anything more....but I worry that I will be perceived and not caring.
If I send a simple Christmas card...will that be invasive?

I still can not believe this all happened. I have told him...I would like the opportunity to repair our relationship but he won't communicate with me.

He is my only child...and he has his father's family and his wife's family to fill the family void. I can't understand why or when he stopped caring about me.

It feels better venting to others going through it. People say just to surround myself with my other family that cares and move on. But my only child...my baby...my son...is a huge chunk of my life. I get reminded of him often...and then the tears come.

Today I tell myself....stand strong...and let him come to me. I will try. That's all I can do.