How to overcome anxiety before a radical prostatectomy?

My husband is 64 too. He had RARP in June and had zero problems afterwards. The catheter was a hassle of course and some soreness for about a month. That’s it! The technology is great these days. My husband was really stressed out about it beforehand and now he says it was not a big deal at all. Good luck to you!

With both your father and grandfather having had PC, have you had a genetic (germline) test to see if you inherited any of the gene mutations related to prostate cancer?
Some relief from anxiety might come from the knowledge that information would provide.

@sarge15926 There’s no answer for you, Sarge…it’s totally normal to be anxious, nervous and fearful from ‘all of it’.
Just remind yourself of why you have to do this (family history) and how many others before - and after you - have experienced the same doubts and fears.
We all came out the other side and lived to talk about it. If you trust your surgeon and believe in his/her skills just LET GO and let them do what they are expertly trained for…Best,
Phil

@heavyphil Thank you

To all you guys that have made comments back to me on my post, I want to THANK YOU Everyone of you have been very inspirational and motivating to me. Again, Thank you

It is normal to have anxiety before this procedure. Appreciating that every PCa patient is different, it really depends upon what would be most helpful for you.

Would more details about the pre and post-surgery experience be helpful? You can get all levels of detail about this procedure, what to expect before the procedure, what to expect after the procedure, and any questions you should be asking.

Would talking or chatting with either PCa patients or a therapist who works with a lot of PCa patients be helpful? You can get access to either PCa specialist therapists or other PCa patients to talk with you.

Know that the surgeon and the nurses who will be treating are experts on this specific surgery and do this many times every week. Also know that most, if not all, of their patients have some level of anxiety before the procedure.

Honestly, the biggest shock for me was actually going into surgery.
For years, I've seen on TV patients being wheeled into the operating theatre like they're gonna die.
I walked into the room on my own like I was going to get a haircut.
Hopped onto the operating table & joked with the docs until they knocked me out.

Years of watching ER & they lied to me, dammit.

I had a robot assisted radical prostatectomy back in 2015, when I was 63. My urologist was one of the top docs in the Denver metro for using the DaVinci robot, so I was in good hands. All went well, and my doc told me right after that I lost no more than a thimble full of blood. I stayed overnight but was released the next day. Any post-surgical pain was managed well by hydrocodone and tylenol. After a few days, I was done with the hydrocodone. The catheter wasn’t fun, but I managed and even got out for walks and short trips to the grocery store with it. I was anxious about the day it was removed, but my doc did it so quickly that it registered pretty low on the pain scale. It was nothing compared to the pain and discomfort of a transrectal needle biopsy. The recovery is a process, and you just have to allow your body time to heal (weeks, not days). I never did recover full bladder control, and was using one to two pads per day after about a year. But in 2023, my urologist performed a urethral sling surgery (outpatient) that fully restored my continence. I have no regrets about any of it.

I also had total knee replacement surgery in 2024. Now that was three weeks of serious post-op pain with little sleep. The prostatectomy recovery was a walk in the park (with a urine bag) in comparison.

Best wishes for a successful procedure and recovery.

My surgery date is Dec 16 at Mayo Jax. Finally getting it set with the surgeon I wanted has been a big relief. I still have anxiety, and I give myself leeway, knowing anxiety is natural. I also know my personal triggers, alcohol increases anxiety for me, so none for me the last couple of months, none until surgery, maybe none ever again. Gym (some, not enough) and walking, great way to unwind. I tread lightly when reading about Pca. This forum is great, but I've purposefully stayed away for a few weeks and even today there are topics I avoid, not just here but elsewhere too, I focus on Dec 16 and let the past be the past and let the future take care of itself. Also, just my way might not be for everyone, but I've started taking Thc (legal where I am) in very small amounts, it's been lifechanging for me personally. Just some random thoughts to share, hope they might help someone else.

@sarge15926 You will be fine. What matters is that the cancer is still organ-confined. Incontinence will be temporary. You will have ED for several months or even longer. But there are solutions to that problem too.