@triciaann99 This may sound weird, but I enjoy watching "true crime" videos on YouTube. Part of it is gratitude for being sober now and not going to jail. Another piece is motivation for wanting to get the word out that people with alcoholism and drug addiction do things when under the influence they would NEVER do when sober. The criminal justice system needs an overhaul. I go to a jail (through my graduate internship) and help lead an anger management class. I was shocked to learn that this jail (a county in middle Tennessee) has no social worker or therapist on site AT ALL! These folks, although, broke the law, are not animals. I would say 90% of them need help, some kind of counseling or therapy and yet there is no one on staff for that. I find that disgusting and reprehensible. Anyway, did not mean to go on a soap box. I also, am fascinated with the human mind. I have always wondered about the "nature vs. nurture" argument. It is my belief that people are not born serial murderers, etc. I think they may have a biological propensity due to genetics, but I believe it is more how they were raised and the family of origin stuff. Most of it seems to go back to childhood trauma. Anyway, again, did not mean to be so long winded, but wanted to share some thing that I do, find interesting and can lose myself in when feeling like crap. Hang in there. Just for today!