@ginnysnow, None of this is easy. I came out a little later in life, with a spouse of decades, three kids, an IT leadership role at a university, a property owner, and a sibling to three others. It was a big change for a lot of people. It took me years to build up courage. I started at home. I came back from my doctor and told my wife that I had been approved for hormone replacement therapy. She told me that I needed to do it because she didn't want to see me dead and that she would support me but didn't know where it would lead. Next I walked into a staff meeting with about 60 people attending, introduced myself, and went on with my report.

I have one kid who doesn't talk to me anymore. I also have a brother who will not talk to me, and another I talk to occasionally but refuses to use my name or she/her pronouns (even many years after my name was legally changed). And the political climate is horrible right now. A few years ago, I wasn't scared using a public bathroom, now that is not so true. I don't say any of this to frighten you or dissuade you. Just sharing my story. Because it is a story of hope.

It is hard to love yourself. I never did. I didn't like who I was and felt like I spent years trying to be someone who I was not, no matter how hard I tried. Now, I am simply Clara, a transgender woman living her best life.

My brother that doesn't talk to me wasn't close anyway. My brother who still talks but won't use my name or pronouns? It’s strange, but we have really great conversations and get along quite well. I miss my kid, but he has his own issues to work through, and I know it is not my fault. My workplace has been wonderful through the entire process, and I have a huge found family that is very important to me. They have my back, and I have theirs. My wife and I are doing great, and we now have two wonderful grandkids too! Most of all, I am beginning to love myself. I finally feel good about myself when I walk in front of a mirror.

I guess in the end, you must be true to yourself. You are who you are. You can try to change yourself to please others, but you will expend a lot of energy and never be someone you are not, no matter how hard you try. The journey won’t be easy either, but it will be fulfilling over time, and you will learn who you are and to love yourself for being that person.